Hand cream that makes you “look five years younger” turns toddler into fetus

A mother of two turned up at the A&E department of King George’s Hospital, Essex, on Friday morning with her son after he got hold of her Nivea anti-aging cream, causing him to revert to a “prenatal state”.

Janice Murray, 32, woke up to find her son, Kyle, screaming in a puddle of amniotic fluid and attached to an umbilical cord, lying next to an empty jar of the offending skincare product.

“I was so shocked when I saw him, it was like déjà vu. But it was actually kind of fortunate because I forgot to set my alarm today.” Janice brought her son to their local hospital, where dumbstruck doctors ran some routine tests to see if the condition had any effects apart from luxuriously smooth skin. Kyle was then given a clean bill of health and a strict diet of liquids for the next six months, and sent home with his mother, who turned up to work in the afternoon to claim maternity leave again. Janice is reportedly already receiving emails from Amazon for nappies and deluxe buggies outside her price range.

Readers are urged to use Nivea’s potent product with great caution, which in the past has been responsible for middle-aged women going through the menopause twice.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: