Findus defends horse meat use: “It could be worse”

A spokesperson for Swedish ready-meal company Findus made a press statement today hitting back at the negative publicity surrounding the company’s products found to contain unacceptable amounts of horse:

“You know, it could be a lot worse. In China, people are making fake eggs out of paraffin wax and soaking pork in borax to make it look like beef – at least we had the decency to swap ingredients out for something edible. Do you know what happens when you eat borax? You die, that’s what. All that’s going to happen when you eat our lasagne is feel full for fewer calories, because horse is actually lower-fat than beef. Besides, the people who buy our meals don’t care about what they’re eating or they’d be cooking from scratch. Suddenly someone finds a strand of horse DNA and they’re all up in arms. Whatever, the rest of Europe happily eats horse meat on a regular basis, it’s not my fault Britain has a problem with it for some reason.”


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