Bacteria population “insulted” by comparisons to terrorism

Bacteria are becoming less and less responsive to antibiotics and death threats.

Bacteria are becoming increasingly resistant to drugs, which is also making it more difficult to get high.

The Enzyme tracked down a a Mycobacterium tuberculosis loitering in one of our reporters’ lungs for an interview, to shed light on the other side of the threat posed by antibiotic resistant bacteria.

“We’re in your schools, in your hospitals, in your homes, even in bed with your wife. We’re everywhere, while Al Qaeda’s busy masturbating in a bunch of barren caves waiting to be killed by the same country that was only convinced their president wasn’t a terrorist when he killed the guy he was mistaken for. Frankly, we’re insulted – we’re not even in the same league. Ask yourself this: when’s the last time the IRA killed a third of Europe? Sure, admittedly it’s been a slow half a century or so but we just got hold of these sweet new enzymes that take care of those stupid antibiotics, and we’re getting ready to raise a few fevers in these apes. Just as well, too – someone’s gotta pick up the slack left by those viruses. Now, if you don’t mind getting that electron microscope out of my face I have a 3 o’clock gene transfer with some Staphylococcus.”

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3 thoughts on “Bacteria population “insulted” by comparisons to terrorism

  1. lexborgia says:

    “while Al Qaeda’s busy masturbating in a bunch of barren caves” – very good. A rare demonstration of excellence seldom seem in this arena. Very impressive. And funny.

  2. Eagle Tech says:

    Oh sure they can afford to be cocchi, with a staph like that. It’s true that bacteria have a lot on Al-Queda, intelligence for one thing.

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