Email storms started by Robert J. Carpenter to make him look better


The email storm provided much-needed inbox activity for the lonelier students of Imperial College.

Jack Hewitt, previously thought to be behind the email storm at Imperial College London giving everyone something to talk about apart from elections, has buckled under the tirade of insults from disgruntled yet amused students to admit that he was merely paid by Robert J. Carpenter to take the blame.

“Carpenter used his years of experience in annoying people through email to create the “perfect storm”, ensuring that the ensuing chaos would make his own reputation pale in comparison. He said if I agreed to do it that he would even remove me from his mailing list.”

[CORRECTION: The fall guy was in fact Jack Hewitt. We apologise for any undue backlash aimed at James Bromley, even if he was one of the thousands contributing to the problem.]

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