Breakthrough research dismissed due to typographical errors

A paper published by Imperial College scientists announcing a revolutionary breakthrough in nuclear fusion energy has been panned by the scientific community because evidently disregarding of green and red squiggly lines.

Research into nuclear fusion has been ongoing for the past 60 or so years, in the hopes of providing so much clean and cheap energy that people can leave their lights on free of guilt. The research carried out by Imperial’s plasma physics group describes a practical method of achieving the holy grail in the field – getting more energy in than you put in – potentially ending the fifty-year-old claim that a functional reactor is only fifty years away. However, it soon became clear that the author didn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”, spelled “nuclear” as “nucular”, along with a host of other errors that ensured the paper didn’t get past peer review on the basis that the writer “is obviously an idiot”.

The paper even sets out detailed instructions on how to build a fully functional miniature scale reactor as an undeniable proof of concept, and the location of the one they built earlier for all to see if they don’t believe them. One fellow physicist from Durham responded by saying: “Tell me, how do you expect someone to build a working tokamak if they can’t even spell it?”

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