Ofsted inspectors going undercover dressed as children

In an attempt to combat teachers putting on a show of actually teaching their students during inspections, Ofsted has begun sending its inspectors disguised as schoolchildren to avoid detection.

The move comes after the head of the watchdog -famous for striking fear into every lazy teacher’s heart – warned schools not to put on fake shows for them, adding: “I get enough of that from my wife in bed”. Inspectors will be indistinguishable from actual students: dressed in full uniform, they will be carrying lunchboxes with outdated celebrities and pop figures on them, have perfect knowledge of their times tables and write with their non-dominant hand to purposely ruin their handwriting. Critics have suggested that their increased stature, deep voice and thinning hair may be a giveaway but these will be explained away by simply stating that they had to resit year seven.

In the past, Ofsted has tried various other methods to surprise schools, including just sending inspectors uninvited, but schools did not take kindly to having strange old men closely eyeing children and taking notes and photographs. Even getting a CRB check triggered the nationwide early warning system to alert schools to any potential inspectors on their way.

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