Abundant quantities of efficient solar panels in the Arctic leaves Greenpeace in dilemma

Greenpeace has suspended all operations within the Arctic Circle pending investigation into the discovery of photovoltaic cells buried under the Arctic seabed.

The stockpile of photovoltaic cells, believed to be far more efficient than anything science has come up with so far, is the largest ever discovered and could provide up to a quarter of the world’s electricity needs on a clear day. Dr. Sasha Korolev, chief seismologist of Gazprom’s research division that made the find, commented on how the natural world continues to outdo man-made efforts: “Nature really loves to rub our nose in it. It’s not enough that spiders literally shit better body armour than materials science can produce.”

The organisation may have to completely rethink their policy on the Arctic Circle, which up until now they have vehemently defended against any sort of exploitation. Now that they have something tangible to gain from it, Greenpeace may well decide to get in on the action and resign themselves to seeing the extinction of polar bears. However, what remains is what they ultimately care about more: saving the world or pissing off oil companies.

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