North Korea reports complete destruction of South Korea, Japan and USA

Media outlets in Pyongyang are reporting the “complete and utter destruction” of South Korea, Japan and parts of the USA after they refused to heed their threats that any interference with their missile tests, or any military action at all, would be met with a swift response from the fist of mighty Kim Il-Sung.

The country’s populace are preparing to celebrate their victory over their foes, anticipating a nationwide feast now there are no enemies to ruin their harvests. North Korea’s UN ambassador made his country’s message clear: “We could not tolerate the aggression of the USA and its allies any longer, nor claims by its media that our threats were empty. Now the only things that are empty are the streets of Seoul and Tokyo. Let this be a warning to anyone who dares to underestimate North Korea, henceforth known as just Korea.”

The deployment of nuclear missiles is the culmination of months of mounting tensions and escalating threats from both sides, apart from Japan which was too busy trying to deal with China to worry about North Korea. A spokesperson for Japan described the blasé attitude of his country in the face of annihilation:  “A couple nukes aren’t enough to scare us any more – the surprise factor kind of wears off after the second time. And we’re practically immune to fallout now.”

 

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