A bright maths student in year 3 claims to have proven that P= NP, but remains a mystery as the child has really awful handwriting.
Michael, 7, scribbled down the proof after completing the extension work set for him when he completed his twelve times tables ahead of everyone else. However, years of pointlessly learning cursive has left his handwriting in such an awful state that his parents have already begun planning for his career as a GP. However, the teacher was less than impressed despite the significance of the proof. “We know he’s proven it because the little shit edited his class’s timetable to replace all history lessons with extra lunchtimes when he broke into the school’s database, which uses 128-bit encryption. What’s the school doing with 128-bit encryption, anyway? It can’t even stop schoolchildren.”
Among the implications for cryptography and computer science in general, the proof paves the way for an algorithm to find the matching pair to socks in polynomial time, which Michael was excited about because he refuses to wear odd pairs.