Oil tends to be found in places with lots of money


Norway has large reserves of oil, unlike its poorer neighbours.

Geologists have established a casual link between the location of crude oil deposits and the GDP of countries nearby, with hopes that this will pave the way for finding oil without having to poke random places until the drill gets wet.

Oil is formed from the remains of little sea animals under the sea when put under heat and pressure, including but not limited to the larvae of ancient singing hermit crabs. Large reserves of these have been found in Canada, the USA, Saudi Arabia, off the coast of Brunei, along with many others, showing a very strong casual link between the two factors. The only exception is Yemen, which once had large oil reserves but is now poor, but that is most likely due to their own fuck-ups since the United Kingdom ran out of oil as well but is still disgustingly rich.

What is most exciting about this theory is that it challenges the idea that Europe is an oil-barren wasteland that has to buy most of the stuff from the Middle East, as pretty much all of Western and Northern Europe have GDPs per capita that strongly suggest undiscovered reserves so large that they might tempt the continent away from bikes and trains and back to gas-guzzling cars. Shell, which funded the research, is planning to have drilling platforms installed in Switzerland and Luxembourg by 2019, despite being slightly disappointed with the final results. “We were hoping for at least smart casual to really cement the relationship.”

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