UN confirms “unequivocally” Assad using chemical weapons

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A UN inspector gathering chemicals. There are at least five types of them in this picture alone.

The UN has confirmed “unequivocally and objectively” that chemical weapons have been used in Syria.

A UN report says that Assad’s government has repeatedly and indiscreetly used weapons against rebels, and that these weapons contain several chemicals. These chemicals are highly dangerous, known to regularly cause fatalities unless wielded by someone who can’t use an iron sight properly.  Foreign Secretary William Hague said he was ‘disgusted and disappointed by the Syrian government’s use of chemical weapons in this day and age, especially when there are perfectly usable nuclear weapons available. There’s nothing in the NPT that stipulates that you can’t just buy nuclear weapons from a particular world power as long as nobody finds out about it.”

Russia’s Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov is insisting that the chemical weapons are nothing to worry about, as they are in fact made from natural materials: “They’re made from stuff that’s been dug out of the ground, sourced from ancient alluvial deposits.” He added that Sarin gas is an organic compound, a damn sight better than all the inorganic compounds used in conventional weapons.

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