“It’s worse than going to Imperial College”
Pope Francis expressed his views on the current sex ratio of the Vatican in a sermon this morning, it has been revealed.
“When I signed up for this gig I was told that there would be a minimum of one woman for every three men. It’s been a year now and the closest I’ve seen to a pair of X chromosomes in the Vatican is an effeminate eunuch who we let in here to sing in the choir. It’s a fucking sausage fest in here – I know Italy is known for its meat products but this is ridiculous. I’m the head poncho here and even I’m starting to feel the blue balls, despite having a full plate of meetings, orphanage openings and good will to spread. I can’t imagine what toll it’s taking on the other priests. The other day I swear I saw one of them eye up one of the altar boys – I just think: “What kind of messed up system do we have where men are denied their natural urges only to force them to bum a six-year-old?”