Osborne urges ‘stiff upper lip’ in face of spending cuts

George-Osborne[1]

The austerity measures will affect everyone: for example, the Chancellor will be forced to get an even smaller briefcase.

George Osborne called for UK citizens to keep a ‘stiff upper lip’ in the face of impending cuts to public spending, he announced this morning.

The Chancellor will be delivering the second budget this year in July, which is expected to helpfully fill everyone in on the details omitted in the run-up to the election, such as the £12 billion in cuts that has everyone shitting themselves so hard that their toilets could be mistaken for the Conservative manifesto.  The speech this morning was an attempt to allay some of those fears: “I know that it will be a difficult time for those who rely on disability benefits, the NHS and income support. Some of you may even find yourselves going to bed hungry on some nights. This is why I urge you all: no matter how loud your stomach rumbles, or how loudly your kids cry because they’re spending another night in the park, not to let it get to you. Keep a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity, that’s what makes this country truly great, what being British is truly about.”

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