Tag Archives: labour

Tories worried they might have to beat a real Labour leader in 2020

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There are growing concerns among the Conservative Party that the 2020 general election may involve a real battle for 10 Downing St., a survey reveals.

Jeremy Corbyn’s recent surge in popularity among the public puts him as favourite to become the leader of Labour Party, which would see it depart from its previous model of electing people on the basis of not being a war criminal or being the best third-best choice. For the first time in a decade, Labour might actually be led by someone with strong public support.

As the only leader who offers a genuine alternative to 95% Blair-free Tory-Lite, the Conservatives may need to focus their election campaign on their policies, as opposed to scaring voters with the possibility of a United Kingdom that’s represented by its constituent countries. However, a comment by a senior Tory backbencher suggests that they are “always up for a bit of Scot-bashing”. However, he also mentioned that they are glad that a sure-fire leader has emerged so soon as this gives them extra time to dig up any dirt there might be on Corbyn.

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Ed Balls: “I’m voting Lib Dem”

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Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls announced that he will be casting a ballot for the Liberal Democrats on Thursday, it was revealed this morning.

He spoke candidly to a old man while on the campaign trail in Leeds, who jokingly asked Balls who he planned to vote for in the upcoming election. “I was already sold on Labour and Ed Balls seemed like the type I could crack a joke with, so I asked him who he’s voting for. I, uh, didn’t expect such a detailed answer.” Balls then proceeded to explain his choice of the Lib Dems, mentioning his approval of their version of the mansion tax, lifting low-paid earners out of paying income tax and a digital Bill of Rights. He hastily added that his views on the last point were completely unrelated to his gaffe four years ago where he tweeted his own name.

The response came to the surprise of absolutely everyone, as being the right-hand man of the Labour Party he would at least thrown his support behind the Greens. However, some saw it refreshing for a politician to be so self-destructingly honest for once. After the incident, Balls’s aides bundled him into the campaign car and angrily reminded him which party he actually belonged to by pointing to their red ties.

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