Sight of make-up-free women alerts man to the horrors of cancer

A healthy, unidentified man in his late 20’s was suddenly stricken with grief this morning, when the numerous images of women without make-up on his Facebook feed reminded him of the crushing horror that cancer inflicts on its victims.

“Before today I went about my life without giving so much as a second thought to cancer, how it afflicts 1/3 of every person alive at some point, or that there are several types of it that are aggressive and almost impossible to cure. But seeing all these pictures of my friends, family and ex-girlfriends without make-up really drove it home for me. I’m going to make a sizeable donation to cancer research immediately.”

The man, who prefers to stay anonymous, admitted that he previously never even considered donating to charity, and is grateful for the internet phenomenon for opening his eyes to the power that crowdsourced donations can make. “I’m confident that if this trend continues we’ll be able to eliminate cancer entirely, just like we got rid of Joseph Kony this time two years ago.”

Supermarkets selling ribbons to raise awareness

Tesco, Sainsburys and Morrisons have begun selling red ribbons in order to raise awareness, as well as to raise money for charity without having to sacrifice any of their profits.

The campaign is partly in response to criticism from the public that major corporations aren’t doing enough to raise awareness that doesn’t involve changing their Facebook profile picture, which the public already has that area covered.  So far, it seems that the masses have lauded their efforts – with over 150,000 sold last week. A customer loitering in the frozen food section had nothing but great things to say: “I think it’s really important to raise awareness. I mean, you can’t expect someone to do anything about something if they don’t know what it is. I’m glad I could do my bit by pinning this ribbon to my chest to spread the word.”

However, others are skeptical of the campaign, considering it a cynical attempt at cashing in on a noble cause. One shopper expressed his bewilderment of it all: “This is stupid – I don’t need a fucking ribbon to show that I care. As for the money, nothing stops me from donating to charity anyway – just as long as I get a receipt to prove that I did.”

Anyone who would like to help raise awareness can buy one of the ribbons for £1.99, which also come in blue.